Back to projects and midterms

Been a wk since i last posted. Didin't really do much on my term break, not that i can remember at least. Definitely did not finish the school work and study that i planned to, didn't even start! In trouble, gotta rush for the last few wks of school.

Went roller blading with lance, bob and leslie at 1pm on sat and wakeboarding with lance, alvin and carina at 4.30pm, so shack by the time i reached home. We brought puppy and missy along for both events, so fun! Taught pup how to 'mush' haha. And she got to swim in the Singapore/Malaysia straits everytime we changed over during wakeboarding. Will post some photos if i get the chance.

After that day, it just went downhill. Guess i deserve it for saying my life has been fine for a long long time in cell that wk. Hit a rough patch with lance, a very rough patch, and we're still trying to sort things out. Caught him smoking with alvin while i was teaching HIS class in dog trg, which was bad cos he said he don't smoke and we had this problem once before and he had promised not to do so anymore. When i did, i wanted to confront him straight away but decided to go back to the class and see what his reaction would be when i ask him about it. He lied, and very fluently about it i might add. I was so pissed i just left in the rain to catch a cab home. He said he did it so as not to hurt me as i would get mad if i knew he had done so, which is true, but i kinda HATE liars more. Yes, it really ain't that big a deal in retrospect, but honesty is REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT to me, and i told him that right from the start. I feel so betrayed and cheated. So we had a huge argument and i said some pretty terrible stuff. I don't get mad much, but when i do, i think i've got a great capacity for anger and a mean streak, heh heh.

Well, we decided to work it out, although we don't know how yet. Everything feels a little superficial now, and though i would love to, i have so much difficulty trying to trust him at all. I am always suspicious of anything he says. How can a relationship be based on broken trust? I hand everything to God. Had this song in my head when i woke on tue morn, maybe it's His way of speaking to me, "all things work together for the good of those who love Him". Maybe through this experience we will learn to be more honest with each other and grow closer in due time. Maybe, just maybe. Meanwhile, i'm trying not to control my environment and leave it to God to shape, to help me through this tiring time.